After all, where else will you see a robot, loosed randomly into open space by a princess, land on a sparsely populated sand planet and within that desolate expanse find the brother she never knew existed?

As a scientist I have to allow that it could happen: space is vast but not infinite.

I’ll even go so far as to accept, unquestioningly, his resultant drawing into what ultimately becomes the crucial event in the history of everything anybody knows. However the generosity of my credulity begins to stretch while accommodating the discovery on that same small world a sand hermit who turns out to be the long lost teacher of their father–a father who himself was born on this same sparsely populated remote sand planet, only to became the most feared villain in the galaxy and future mortal nemesis of his own unknown children.

This is the same father who as a child built the robot companion, itself still central to the story through generations, of the robot his long-future daughter, now his enemy, sent randomly into space back at the top there, instigating a chain of events that culminate in the reuniting of their family, the death of the father, and the saving of all creation.

Also, much later on that same desolate sand planet, another robot with similar potential finds another random sand orphan, who also turns out to be instrumental in the salvation of all her current creation, as well as the daughter of that son of the most feared villain of history, and who then finds herself sharing her adventure with the closest friend of her unknown parents, unbeknownst to any of them.

It goes on from there. Overall it’s not what the French would call, how you say it, sans coincidences, yo, no? My little nephew is new to Star Wars, and loves it, even the prequels, but I won’t tell him any of this unless he asks, because I love the little future pain the ass (I’m lying, he is presently) and his taste is for him to discover.

He’s the formative age I was when I saw Star Wars… but he’s sure not the age I was by the time I saw them all decades later. He got to consume them in a Matrix minute, mainline download in no more time than it takes to press Play, where I had years between and usually no access to rewatch.

Though they have been robbed of the pleasure and effort of anticipation, let’s try not to be sad for them. Whatever happens to these kids, god have mercy on their…

lol, I was going to say souls, but that’s probably a dirty word by now, not inclusive enough to some microscopic minority identifying as “soul distant”. Some school made their cheerleading squad inclusive of everyone who applies this week, because one parent complained her kid didn’t make the cut. That’s cool, great idea and I bet they have a hell of a good time with it. I just hope like hell it doesn’t spread.

 

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