This was the week when passengers on flights from certain Islamic countries lost their computer and tablet privileges because of a few bad apples.
No – that wasn’t it. The ban was first announced as enacting because of…
At first I was pretty bummed about that. Credible Threats is my favorite band, and if they weren’t going to make the White Tomorrow festival I would be as devastated as my straight edge creed would allow. I’ve been waiting forever to see them; my ticket is number 8. Imagine my relief when I found out I’d capitalized it myself and the “credible threats” the White House was talking about were merely themselves.
That’s right – pretty relieved. But as is my wont to seek positives out of 45 news, my buoyancy quickly found rejoicement at the thought, predicated on me automatically jumping to the conclusion that this electronics ban is a left-handed power play and the narrow edge of a not so narrow wedge, that they are being subtle about it (subtlety not being a conclusion one automatically jumps to, this administration-wise, especially a small foothold over there to eventually get here). If you know these people like I do, the whole thing smacks of invented threat, a handy fiction fashioned from shards of disparate intel. It’s not lost on them that the long game goal of Total Domination lies yonder down that path.
I’m making it all up, of course. My sources? I got your sources right here. Blame yourself, it’s your own fault for believing a blog like whatever this one is. Though if I’m honest, I don’t really blame you for falling for it, even though it’s pretty embarrassing for you. I mean I’m partial to this blog myself; but take the lesson to heart and check your own sources. You may find out that what I say is true, or you mayn’t. If you do not, keep checking. Meantime I’ll keep a cursory watch on the events of the world for you, reporting back on how it all fits together so you don’t have to. I’ll never lie to you — never mind that one up there, or when I said I’ll never lie to you, obviously, what with what we know now and all. When I say “lie”, there’s a bevel of flavoring or two, shades of penetrating tones to take into account. As Hitler said to Jesus, Believe me, but exercise discretion with whatever I say.
For example, say it cometh to pass that the “credible threats” are indeed Frankensteinian after all. No? Frankenstein? I’ll give you the gist: A mad president stitched together unrelateable parts, and of course the monster was impossible to bring to life. It’s science, what did he think was going to happen. Moral of the story, all the parts drop away and fall off, leaving only the bare bones idea and who concocted such a cockamamie scheme to fool the world with this backdoor gap assault, based on nothing more than Operation Northwoods-calibre intel… Yet even if all that proves me right, it doesn’t mean I was right, to trick you. Sure what I did was hilarious, you should have seen your face. But was it wrong? Well, maybe that’s for a jury to decide, it’s getting late.
I’ll sum up with this: what made me find the positive in this new open-ended international electronic inconvenience was a perversion: the fact it’s a terrible thing, but depending on the angle it’s a positive too. Long story short, it has to do with that non-conclusion jumping subtlety we were talking about. To date, the rampaging carnival that has taken control of the US government hasn’t yet inspired many uses of the word “delicacy” in its regard, nor does “intricateness” pop up much. I’m still waiting for the first “elusive refinement”, and I thought I’d wait forever, while staffers bumble into each other and talking heads contradict their own other tongues.
But this electro-ban (so would-be terrorists can’t arm and detonate a bomb before Kurt Russel gets to them) is on a new level for the ‘House of 45. It’s a few things, including misdirection – admittedly a low (as in prehistoric) trait and easily picked up, but one not so competently demonstrated by them yet. What it also is is an attention to the horizon, a reminder that growth can be slow, a slowing down. For a President who has subsisted for years on live coverage, instant feedback, and 140 characters this very second, who doesn’t believe it until he sees it on tv, this concept of too-far-away-to-see might be a good story, let’s get someone on that.
Everything true aside, you can see where I’m coming from : the big white house over there where all the crashing’s been coming from suddenly pulled a quiet sleight of hand. How does a house do that? You can ask til the cows come home (they’re the only ones who know), all I’m saying’s as terrible as it is to see somebody get better at politics, it does count as improvement, learning, personal betterment in one’s chosen field. The gov’t as a whole is a corporation, and therefore a person; let’s at least give them some due for trying to master the arena, shall we? for setting it’s mind on a goal and finding ways to get there.
Sure, maybe they just opened the book, but I like to think they put thought of their own into it too. I want to believe it. Like any child or barn you help raise, you want it to weather well and get stronger over time. You want it to learn and grow, to find a focus and pursue it, and maybe someday present you with little grandbarns. That’s how I feel about the current administration : a sense of investment and responsibility, ever since I’ve been thinking positively about him since the election, encouraging optimistic interpretations of their actions, trying to spin up the whole shit show. I mean scenario.
If that means I’m bought and sold, then take me off the shelf. But I also genuinely want to believe the potentially awful but noteworthily positive development I’ve been conjecturing here, based as it is on nothing at all, and it is this: That, deceitful behavior being a sign of intelligence, this example shows at least a hint of elusive refinement.