Example 1: easily select a bunch of songs and change the details.

Scenario: I import songs from CD while offline, and don’t sit and there enter every bit of information because I’m living my life for once, for f…. Later, while online or not, I struggle and thrash my way around this cutting edge high-tech machinery you call iTunes, a sad shadow on what history would have celebrated as iTunes and will now deride as iTunes. I hope you made a lot of fucking money, whoever you are, and that that fucking money fucking monkey paws the fuck out of you fucking monkeys, paaaw?

You’ll take what’s coming you, you will, and while you’re being ‘pawed we won’t even have the potential of the slightest awareness of you, ever. Because for all your fancy pro-gramming style that sank one of your own original fleet, you’s unknown, brother. You sat there for hours and for hours you coded and coded what your employer told’d you to, code, d. And that’s why I don’t really blame you, and in fact I’m sorry you’re now undergoing the worst monkeypawing of your life, assuming you’re a decent person… but this one’s not really you’re fault, and maybe that’ll count for something, if you’re a decent person. If it’s worth my vote let it be cast, “Give this one a sixteenth credit of a half credit of a whole!” believe me, that’s worth something in the supernatutural, both in money and reputation.

It’s not worth much of either, but then I don’t know anything about you and your activities outside our brief encounter here today. As far as I’m concerned, your status is “I just work here”, as goes a joke that never gets old. It can be used poorly, of course, like any, and there’s other timeless jokes of course, but they don’t concern us: who we’re after is the supreme commander of your orders—the commander of orders. The one who tells
the one who tells the ones
who tells the
ones who
tell the
other ones to tell you what to do.

Perhaps I’ve said too… Let’s just say I’ve said. Aaand while we’re since talking, let’s just say I’ve, shalln’t we? Drop the unnecessary said, and that pesky ‘ve while we’re at it too. If I had a wishlist, I’d say just I… which is where it always comes back to, in’t it?./` There’s no way for me to escapy myself on this one, not now that the most irreducible onscreen element is, becomes, and has probably always been moi, the here-man, meme, ol’ thumbsy, who we call that very thisguy. They call my “Why”, while my real name is Yves Cantyouseeme, aka: Count Andlookhere, Baron Followthisfinger, Cardinal Hyam Pointingatmyself, and others whom history shall forget. Yes it will!! I implore history to and so it must, therefore shall it shall.

Hmm, I didn’t see that second exclamation point… ohwell, probably like every other potentially significant thing I run across, let’s let it ride. I’d say slide but I caught it, haha! See? at least I do take things in and pre-pra-pru-pri-process them, well maybe not quite process, that much, or even anywhere near it, but still I let things inform and, hm, well now that you mention it, not enough. Things I’ve missed, and thing I don’t know I’ve missed. The missing, fuuu

One thing I’ll always miss is that old iTunes. Last times itunes ubdated itself — with NO YES FROM ME by the way – I sought out and reinstalled that old version that works, you know where  you can find your music and make playlists and awl that sheehoot that made the iTune brand work, ya sknow?

Let’s just keep things concise and suggest that my unrepentant fandom of the iTunes I so heartedly castigate, namely, runs the deepest bounds.


Part 2: Jan 9

In a playlist, if I move songs around, itunes 12 plays them in the order they used to be. 7 caught on within a couple seconds, adopting the new order as the fucking order that it is now in. 12, on the other hand, isn’t what you’d deem reactive by any honest standard, in that respect.

Ever desire a text file of your playlist, say for printing a cover? I don’t know about you but when I try in 12 it recommends I save it to C: drive in the Windows system folder, deep down in a folder called System 32. When I try to save it there, I’m told I need administrator permission on my own machine, with which permissions I’ve never tampered.

And let’s be honest, neither of us wants to know who wants a song’s Name, Artist, Composer, Album, Grouping, Work, Movement Number, Movement Count, Movement Name, Genre, Size, Time, Disc Number, Disc Count, Track Number, Track Count, Year, Date Modified, Date Added, Bit Rate, Sample Rate, Volume Adjustment, Kind, Equalizer, Comments, Plays, Last Played, Skips, Last Skipped, My Rating, and Location, but that is the info itunes 12.7 includes with its playlist export, and with no apparent control over optioning those headers. Furthermore, the .txt file itself, once you’re able to rope it in, is a formatless dogpile of info mocking page margins and line breaks. .

Have I said anything good about itunes yet? I like the name, I guess, but that’s all Jobs, a master of design and customer satisfaction whose legacy is being, let’s be colloquially kind and say soiled, by such weak beans as the itunes of today.

If I’m being unclear, I compel you to bring back the itunes of yesterday.


part 3 : Jan 12

Why when I float my pointer over a song does its time length disappear? What is the purpose of that? Some bugger programmed that sabotage and claimed it as work, but in his defense every second thing about this thing seems more user unfriendly than the last, thing about this thing. For example, why can’t I easily manipulate fields like Album, Time, Year, etc? I can’t even adjust the columns I have, much less add and subtract more. The old simple itunes, before nobody was in charge of it anymore, let a user use, bra. Why won’t you let a user use, bra? Bra! Bra?

There’s nobody there, nobody in charge anymore. The project is, as is said, out of control. Shit’s happening there without anyone knowing, inmates in charge and no oversight. Meanwhile the system was programmed to force upon users a suggestion to update itunes regularly, and to this day it continues to do so, whether any updates are improvements or not. Nobody knows — least of all the creators. All they know’s they just have to make enough changes to satisfy their contractual obligations and the pay will flow. So small changes accrue and mutate upon each other, with nobody in charge to hold a vision, and what was once a proud pioneer leader becometh a bloated rich hoarder.


part 3 part 2

Genius is no genius either. You want to see a playlist of your Genius-constructed playlist? Me too. If you figure out how to let me know, I’m tired of looking. The only way I found it was by oh wait, that button there beside the title window is the playlist. Good news, but I already found it anyway, by switching to Mini Player, after which I didn’t know how to return to usual. Eventually I clicked the X to start over….turns out that’s the trick to closing Mini Player and returning to UnMini Player, bop bop. Lots of things in this life are dependent on you knowing them, and those things aren’t necessarily the fault of the thing.

Some are. Say, when I select an artist from my library. All that artists’ albums show up in right columns, all tracks listed, uncollapsable, unmodifiable in order. If I have 20 Bob Dylan albums, I have to scroll through all the rest to finally reach Time Out Of Mind, and by then it’s too late.

Looking through by album is worse. Looking by song is the only way it could be, and the only place that looks anything like the useful, functional interface of old, back when itunes did what itunes should do. Anyone who says I’m a fan of this app doesn’t know me.


part 4, Jan 27

I’m finally cheking out iTunes genius. It’s providing me with playlists in genres, and I appreciate it.

It gives me two choices called “Traditional Folk Mix” which between them includes, among others, Woody Guthrie, Phil Ochs, John Prine, Rodriquez, Bob Dylan, Neil Young, Bonnie Prince Billy, Julie Holland, Neko Case, Los Lonely Boys, Ryan Adams, Old Crow Medicine Show, and The Sadies… I can surely dig it. Then there’s three (3) called “Indie Pop Mix” featuring Mercury Rev, M.I.A., WU LYF, Grimes, Red Red Meat, Andrew Jackson Jihad, Morphine, Metric, Captain Beefheart, U2, Feist, Yoko Ono, Pet Shop Boys, Fiery Furnaces, NoMeansNo, Frank Zappa, Chad Van Gaalen and Pink Mountaintops… I’m down baby. Something called “Electronica Mainstream Mix” that pulls Aphex Twin, Brian Eno, Everything But The Girl, David Lynch, Morcheeba, The Fireman, Emergency Broadcast Network, Moby, and Tujiko Noriko out of my library? Okay by me. The “Electro-Pop Mix” having its way with Cibo Mato, Beck, Lily Allen, Florence And The Machine, Donovan, Scott Walker, Captain Beefheart, Gnarls Barkley, Butthole Surfers and The Beta Band seems like its stretching, but it’s all my music so I love it. The two “Adult Alternative Rock Mix”s serve such as Radiohead, Live, James, REM, U2, Ok GO, Brian Wilson, Jay Reatard, Matthew Good, TV On The Radio, Fleet Foxes, Feist, Black Keys, White Stripes, Grinderman, Daniel Lanois, and King Khan And The Shrines — some questionable associations, but it’s a stupid fkng A.I. working off my music collection so who’s to blame?

I’ll tell you who’s to blame : iTunes. I have many hours of jazz, many hours of country, many hours of classical, not to mention the African music and kids and noise and weirdo and other in my library of some 19+ days of music. Genius, for all it’s nice mindless service, offers exactly zero “jazz mix”, a comparable amount of “country mix”, and don’t get me started on the dearth of African, kids, noise and weirdo mixes. Can I change or direct or modify my genius mixes? Not apparently.

The only good thing to come of this is reminding myself how much I loves them Fiery Furnaces,


part V 1-27-18

All I want to do is in any playlist control how the hell I see and control it, for obvious reasons. Say I want to rearrange a playlist for playlisting later. I remember how in iTunes it used to be all readily apparent and shit, you could see what you were doing and see it while you done did it and do it — not anymore! Thing’s have changed, my son myself.

It’s basic things we wants to do, but if we ever sees anything like these those days again, due to progression and forward movement we won’t be seeing them like that, anyway, or much near like it. I accept that.


part VI 1-28-18

As I construct a playlist, can I adjust what I see about it? I see song info like name, artist, and album. It also displays year, genre and length automatically. When I hover my mouse pointer over a song the length of it vanishes, for some fkng inexplicable reason, but forget that stupid feature for now: I’m wondering if I can rearrange the items in this playlist by length. Can I? Apparently not. Can I order them in alphabetical order? No. Can I make visible other information, like…well, I don’t care about bpm or Last Played and such, but if I did could I? Apparently not.

If it sounds like I’m beating dead horse, just sum it up to yawn, fkng itunes BS.


part V!! 2-12-18

Godamn fucking iTunes. Why, when I select a song from my music folder, and open it, and it opens in iTunes, in the Songs area, is it set to random? I bloody well want to hear The Suburbs in its entirety, not the title track followed by Can’t Stay Away by Don Covay & The Goodtimers, then Heavenless by Don Drummond & The Skatalites, then Werewolves On Wheels by Don Gere — all of which are in Artist order despite not being anywhere near Arcade Fire? And just where is the button for deselecting Random Play in this area, if random is what it is? Which it doesn’t seem like it is, despite the arbitrary uncontrolled leap from The Suburbs to Can’t Stay Away.

Have I mentioned how iTunes used to work just fine and simply until, in order to justify their paychecks, the dumbagineers at Apple Inc screwed around unnecessarily, breaking things that weren’t broke, complicating the streamlined, turning intuitive ease of use into a clumsy, clunky, cluttered, clogged up cruddy interface? If I haven’t yet, I’ll be sure to.


part VIIII 2-13-18

While itunes is playing Anvil, I want to find Bob Dylan’s Roll On John. I type in the search window my terms, and a live initial selection of the library appears below. If I select on one to find about it…it doesn’t just take me there, without warning it CUTS OFF what was playing and suddenly replaces it with whatever you clicked!

What I’m saying is the ability to navigate about with in tje itunes environment has been severely fucjed with, to such point that “fuck” becomes fucj. Beware when that happens.


part iXish 2-17-18

Have I mentioned how when i move a song before it’s played, itunes don’t care? She for what seems like minutes holds onto the memory and when the time comes uses it against me to play the song that used to be there.

I say She for no reason, could be It. Let’s say SheeiIt, or shit for short, shiitunes, otherwise known as what used to be pretty much my favorite app and is now what it is, whatever it is, that….thing. I ran into an old PROBLEM again, which only distracted me from the annoyance of being in a playlist of mine own and forced to interact with this inefficient ‘new’ interface of shhitttunes number 12.high number.

The old interface, which I can now only find in the main “songs” selection, is the way I and untold others like to interface. So where do you stick the way most people know you? Why, hide it of course, just luckily where I happened to discover it. Yet, when I make my own playlists, there seems to be only the default choice of interface — namely the inefficient bulky new one I know. Can’t I see my songs the way I want? No? Oh, okay.

I’m at the mercy of your step backwards. You’re probably not even aware that the base what started you is swirling in eddies and backwaters now, searching for you. And thought you’re right there, you’ve changed so bloody much some of us don’t know you.

Please bring us out of these backwaters. Get us before the alligators, will you? Or crocodiles, I never know how to yow!!!

ps. the PROBLEM is I can’t save or export a text file of my playlist. shhReally SsshhiTtunness?


part neX 02-19 That smashed entry had a big mouth, but it’s not lying.

Another: Say I’m searching for a viola piece that I know is on a Gyorgy Ligeti double cd I ripped. I search it through Ligeti — a chore just to get past the Clear Or Cloudy collection, which is all itunes seems to recognize at first, but finally I find it — a recording called Lux Aeterna. I know this is it, a conductor and a violist sharing the collection. So it should be easy peasy for me to, from one of the Ligeti tracks, find my way up to the entire recording, no? No?

No. There’s no apparent easy way, except for searching again the album Lux Aeterna and circling back in through there. Why’s it have to suck so? And then I’m in albums, and I want to play the entire double album of Ligeti… fucking itunes sticks me with the gorgeous Susanna Van Els viola, but it’s three tracks of the whole. How do I access the entire album? How, the fuck? Not bloody well, is how.


02-15 Why the bad word is itunes programmed to do what it does the way it does it? Someone somewhere screwed something up. Have I mentioned how if I’m in a playlist and I want to order my shit by length, I seem to be out of shit luck? If not I’ll get to it. Seriously tho, where’s the button? This didn’t even have to be considered back in those lovely simple days of version 7 or whatever. Back then, function ruled, creating the product. Then, business got involved. Yes it did, the curse of innovation, you better bring something new to the table or we got sixty guys, people, ok, waiting for your place.

I’m in a playlist of my own and I want to view it as a list, rather than these godam bubbles of fat useless information. I’m probably sick of talking about it, who knows? I don’t reread what I writted, never have. That there’s probably proven to be my downfall, I’m some convinced.


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